Season 12: between being young and being old

Yep. I'm doing another season.

Even though my last season only had seven posts, it kind of ends on a...well, cliffhanger makes it sound more interesting than it was. But...I just feel like writing and the last season ended. 

I struggled to think of a title for this season. Actually, I'd thought of several. So really I struggled to choose one. I wanted to do “between what people say and what they do” because that’s kind of what I’m thinking about right now. But I generally try to choose a title that will likely be a theme for the majority of the season. So I’ll probably talk about the "say and do" thing in one of my posts on this season.

So, “between working and playing”…I’m not talking about balancing this on a daily basis. I’m talking about…since I do contract jobs, I do have the option not to renew a contract and take indefinite time off. (I mean, hypothetically. In reality, money becomes an issue.) And that would be time that could be taken to relax, see friends and family…to play. 

However, at my age, it’s become (or becoming) more difficult to feel at ease taking too much time off as I still don’t have enough passive income to live off of. And I get this gut feeling (partly from experience) that every year counts. I know I can’t work forever. So I have a limited time to make money.

But I’m about to finish my sixth (nearly) consecutive contract in Korea, and with those years of virtually nonstop work and ever shortening vacations, I feel I’ve become a real drone and I don’t do much for recreation. But moreover I don’t see my friends and family back home. I just feel like I’m pushing that threshold that tells me it’s time to take some time off and see them, even if it hurts me financially.

But, like, I also feel like I’m being irresponsible in doing this because everyone I know has just kept working nonstop over the years and either don’t feel they should take time off and/or don’t feel they have the luxury to take time off.

And how is it that I have the luxury? Because I can crash at my parents. Logistically, it seems necessary to need to crash somewhere when I’m transitioning between contracts/countries. But I know some people didn’t have that option and needed to slug it out until they’d saved enough money before making a transition, or else they allowed themselves the option of going into debt. I think that latter option is why I feel so restricted with what I can do, because I just don’t see that as an option.

But (and this is what I’m getting to….my continuing story from the last season) I also just don’t see staying in Korea as an option. And I should have enough to hold me over for several months until I can start a contract in China next fall. 

But, again, with the responsibility thing and being an adult…ugh. This seems like a straw man argument. I could probably transition directly to a job in China…but I don’t think what is making another year in Korea seem unbearable has much to do with the job or the country. So I don’t thinking jumping to China will solve much or make me responsible. 

I just want to see my family. And 10-14 days a year isn’t enough. 

I know from my roughly two years of unemployment during the financial crisis that money is pretty important, and life without it is very stressful. But…well, why I’m a trying to justify this? I’ve become all work and no play.

That’s my roundabout way of saying that I’m not recontracting with my school and I’ll be back in the States this spring. So I expect a good portion of this blog to take place during the transition of working here, taking time off for a while. 

I was going to say a few more things but…I think I’ll just leave it there.